i'm intrigued right.i've been thinking about "woman"etc
mostly woman like Delila (Samson & Delilah), Bathsheba (King David etc), ah,there's a long list to these kinda woman. i know they are all different but its the relationship with the opposite sex that interests me.
other woman... from the Beowulf movie- the woman who is played by Angeli Jolie; or even Bill Clinton and that woman...i cant remember her name.
my other half is convinced that mans greatest weakness is woman and i'd prob say that vice verse could be also true.
looking at history,all the great leaders, you know, the men of power and integrity and men of vision etc, those that have fallen like the ones i've mentioned above are have fallen because of a woman.
anyway,i've been intrigued by this power that woman have and i think all woman have it, like all woman have beauty.
so i watched the movie Beowulf and remembered the story of Samson and Delilah and I kinda look favourably on those woman.not because of what they've done like kinda condemn the men to their death but because they express an element of them which is....?
to me with my limited knowledge, life, real life that is full and alive only manifest itself through Christ and by us being fully alive. i.e fully expressing who we are, our nature as individuals and as a species.i'd say that this is only the low level of things but a big part of "real life" - what it means to be alive.
anyway,the woman is beautiful as has the power to seduce.
by the way,because the man was seduced,the life of the man was completely changed.its a seduction that changes lives...hehehe ;) history tells of this story.and these men weren't just any men,these were the best of men.this kinda tells me that the man does want to be seduced otherwise that wouldnt be tempted, that its his nature.
all i'm saying is that seduction is not necessarily an evil thing.in the correct context,it can be a strength and armer and "change lives" for the better, 10x better.
to be honest,i want to seduce my husband and i want to influence his life that it may be 10x better.i am not selfish or insecure (most of the time) and therefore recognise that his "life" is my "life" or adds to my "life" and visa verse. or the "loving you is loving me" thing.
i guess this is only a whisper of the mystery of this relationship of the man and female in the context thats its supposed to be.
hmm,not really satisfied with what I wrote

The butterfly effect...

“Everyone you meet in your life - even total strangers - are already intimately connected to you. The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion. We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body. (…) When you look at other people, you’re really looking at yourself." – Steve Pavlina

scientific version... Small variations of the initial condition of a nonlinear dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system. So this is sometimes presented as esoteric behavior, but can be exhibited by very simple systems. The phrase refers to the idea that a butterly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear . The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

One man's pigeon is another man's dove, one man's push is another man's shove
One man's rock is another man's sand, one man's fist is another man's hand
One man's tool is another man's toy, one man's grief is another man's joy
One man's squawk is another man's sing, one man's crutch is another man's wing
One man's pride is another man's humble, one man's step is another man's stumble
One man's pleasure is another man's pain, one man's loss is another man's gain
One man's can is another man's grail, one man's anchor is another man's sail
One man's right is another man's wrong, one man's fish is another man's poisson.

One man's deuce is another man's ace, one man's back is another man's face
One man's reason is another man's rhyme, one man's dollar is another man's dime
One man's tree is another man's post, one man's angel is another man's ghost
One man's rain is another man's drought, one man's hope is another man's doubt
One man's false is another man's fair, one man's toup is another man's hair
One man's hand is another man's stub, one man's feast is another man's grub
One man's dread is another man's dream, one man's sigh is another man's scream
One man's water is another man's wine, one man's daughter leave another man's cryin'
One man's famine is another man's feast, one man's pet is another man's beast
One man's bat is another man's ball, one man's art is another man's scrawl
One man's friend is another man's foe, one man's Joesph is another man's Joe
One man's tack is another man's nail, one man's freedom is another man's jail
One man's road is another man's rut, one man's if is another man's but
One man's treasure is another man's trash, one man's landin' is another man's crash
One man's word is another man's lie, one man's dirt is another man's sky
One man's skin is another man's color, one man's killer is another man's brother

For every father's daughterFor every mother's son
The only thing the sameIs that is ain't for everyoneHank Williams said it best
He said it a long time ago"Unless you have made no mistakes in your lifeBe careful of stones that you throw"

Hank Williams Said It Best - Mick Harvey

They say what you never had, you never miss
Well, she told of a girl who knows no Christmas, who knows nothing about that tree or of that star that brought gifts and yet she sings songs of good cheers as she sees through the window, the snow flake fall to the ground…she knows the warmth of Christmas but not by its name


They say what you never had, you never miss
She said she had never known what it is to be in love. To love enough to sacrifice your time, money and even willing to sacrifice your own life …and yet her eyes tell of the hope of this desire

They say what you never had, you never miss
She read stories of Cinderella and her prince, seen photo’s of the beautiful woman clothed in white… and in secret awaits that day when she will feel like a princess, when she is told that she is beautiful and in her heart, knows it

They say what you never had, you never miss
She searches the books of old for wisdom and for knowledge, travels the earth to taste of its food, to see of its culture…all along asking, all along searching for that meaning, that meaning of life

They say what you never had, you never miss
She was born a slave and by that, she had no rights, no choices. And she, another …was born just like me in a world where society defines what it means to be cool, what it means to be happy
Both, in some way or another, living under the expectations, longing to dance naked in the rain, longing to dance the dance of freedom

They say what you never had, you never miss
But as the ages pass, the story of the human soul echoes that which it never had, but misses, and hopes for…
These, the soul cravings

my bare skin pressed against yours, overwhelmed by your strength. feeling weak but safe. i am not afraid.

eyes closed, i feel your kiss. i pray for strength cause i dont know whats going on through my body. i give up myself to you and i am yours. i give all that i am to you. my mind, thoughts and desire towards you. my body, lips, neck, breasts, back and thighs. and my soul.i am yours and you are mine.

i know you like i was created and made to know you. i know you like adam knew eve and together we give birth to the world.
my body is ready, ready to know yours but i will wait. i will wait and prepare myself for you. prepare myself for one night, one life with you, the one i am honoured to love

You won't relent until
You have it all

my heart is Yours

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

I don't want to talk about You
like You're not in the room
I want to look right at You
I want to sing right to You

The nature of a woman,

her breasts

her thighs

her hands

her eyes

and her soul...all is beauty

She nurtures with her breasts,

brings forth life with her thighs,

loves with her hands,

sees you with her eyes and

dances with her soul

...she is an attraction that draws me.

to drink of all she is,

to come alive in a moment,

to be caressed by her eyes and

to dance with her soul

a woman free, sacred, loved and rescued

There’s nothing better than…

the best thing on this earth is friendship.to know the meaning of if and to appreciate it.
in the last few weeks i have really felt the knife being pressed up against me.a lesson i have learned...true friends are hard to find.that's the greatest thing you could be in this life...a friend.i dont think we really understand the meaning of that word!
anyway,i was hurt this week by people of course which is normal in this life unfortunately.and I’m sure I’ve done the same.i know realise the weight of my actions.which is great…gives me the opportunity to be a better person..

rejection sucks I tel you!!but I’d rather put myself to be rejected 100times then not to feel anything.

being a friend,is a choice we make everyday.even not making the choice to decide to be a friend is a choice.

Being a friend, you cannot do better than that!!!its impossible.any person especially Christian (you don’t have an excuse, “you know better”) who do otherwise, is tearing my heart into shreds. I know I’m so guilty,probably the most guilty.we were put into this life to make friends of all people.

why are we here then?i guess its more of an identity thing? we got issues

all I’m saying is the best thing on this earth is friendship.to know the meaning of if and to appreciate it and everyday, every second we are making the decision to be or not to be a friend.

the blood knife

Hmmm, I have to study for my exam on Monday but I’ll write this…

I just woke up from a dream. It was a sad.

there was this woman who I met I think we were applying for the same job or something not sure but we were in a waiting room and I got the "thing" I came for and she didnt.and I knew she wasn’t going to get it. She was fragile, had dark colours and shy. She smiled though and had a beautiful heart.

Then I found myself at her house. I didn’t get there with her I just remember being in her house. The house was cold. You know how you would put your shoulders up and tense when its cold...well the house caused this reaction not because of the actual temperature but the feeling in the air. So I was feeling tense and yet I was drawn to this woman. I spoke to her and found out that she was being abused by her husband/partner - can’t remember if they were married. It was like she didn’t know that she was being abused. To her this was normal. She was kinda happy, well not happy but she wasn’t sad when I was speaking to her. Perhaps because someone else was in her house. I guess she felt she had a visitor. I remember saying "you know what he's doing to you?...he's basically taking a knife and constantly piercing you then drawing the knife down to make an even bigger scare." she was oblivious to what I had just said, I think all she was concerned about, was that she had a visitor. I remember realizing that I wasn't scared being there and realising that I wasn't judging her, that’s probably why she gave me “the time of day”. I felt like she could be anyone of my friends that nothing really made me any different from her apart from knowledge. So I had the drink she offered. We were standing in the kitchen. Then I went over to the guy and I sat down with him. I didn’t feel any hate or...? It was like having a conversation with any Tom, Dick or Harry. I remember thinking that I didn’t feel scared but I stopped thinking about how supprised I was about not feeling scared. (he was a scary, intimidating looking fellow). I had to spot myself thinking about me not feeling scared just incase all the thinking would eventually make me feel scared.

We spoke about her and he was disgusted about the fact that she didn’t get the "thing" we went to get. Actually, she didn’t tell him that she didn’t get it she just said that they’d let her know which was a lie. She just couldn’t tell him. For some reason it was common knowledge that they would tell you straight away what the verdict was. He was disgusted that this was the case for her.

I remember saying "you know what you're doing to her right?...you're basically taking a knife and constantly piercing her then drawing the knife down to make an even bigger wound. Your looks and stares, your words ands spits, your touch...."

"She is beautiful and you cloth her in ugliness because that is all you see. She becomes that and everyone sees her that way because of you. And now she can’t get anything because she is seen like you see her...with hate and disgust. You are hurting yourselves by hurting her because you won’t get anything back like this "thing" that you needed"

I remember thinking that this man is angry. He is full of hate and resentment and does not know what love is, he does not know how not to be resentful. His actions are simply a reaction to the pain inside?

I remember deciding that I’m going to be his therapist (I was a bit worried thinking I need to get cameras- cctv etc)

The funny thing is that all this action felt normal to me. Acting to speak to the woman, that felt normal. Telling her how beautiful she is, that felt normal. Going to speak to him was scary but that felt normal. Deciding to be his therapist, that felt normal. None of these things...I didn’t have to sit down and weight the risks. I didn’t think about my wellbeing as such. Yea I was scared talking to the man but the action went ahead of my fear. I didn’t think of my kids or my husband (don’t know if I was married in my dream yet) I just remember moving through it all.

All she needs is a friend who won’t judge her or feel disgusted by her. Who comes to visit her and that makes her feel normal. She didnt seem to care about being abused. All he needs is love. That is powerful but was I willing to give that to him...I don’t know

Scary thing...! Although this was just a dream...I searched for the stats on the net. I wanted to know the reality of the unreal dream ..."Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime." So if you think of 3 woman you know, 1 of them would have being violated in some way

I want to fight for such a woman. I want to fight for her to the extent of actually doing something. That is the biggest battle. I want to fight for her cause that's what Love did, thats what Love would do and I am an extension of Love. Just to visit her to make her feel normal. Can you imagine, when you visit her it’s like she's never been assualted, like she's never been raped - physically or emotionally. She doesn’t even understand what hurt is for that moment. A moment of hope.

I look at myself. I pray for these people. I cry for them. I am angry at such an assault, a rape to many, both the man and the woman. I cry and I ask God to help them. I cry cause I realize that He is in so much more pain than i. i ask for God to help them cause He wants to so much more than I do. I pray for "good" people to surround them. And then I look at myself and the question is asked..."what are you doing?" I am so busy with nothing!!!I really don’t give a damn.if I did my life would be so much different. Maybe I do care but not enough to do something..."action”. I choose my, what may seem like meaningless business over the hearts of the heart. I think I am "good" people but...?

I want to take that "but" away and have no "but". Bringing myself to action, bringing myself to love because that’s what love is. Love is action

for God so loved the world that he gave, he moved into action and gave of himself, time and effort, he gave his only son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish by being destroyed by hate, guilt and shame but have eternal life, life that is free, life that is free from hate, disgust, assault and rape of mankind, life that if full, life that is, alive

May God help as...He has given all things...may we help ourselves by helping each other