I remember watching a film. there was a part of the film where this couple were having an argument or something. cant remember it with much details but let me try. I'm sure you've herd this type of story before though.

So this woman was expressing to her husband that he doesnt love her anymore or was it that she asked him if he loves her. (cant remember the details). So he feels really offended by her comment because he works so hard so that the wife can be happy. He get her a lovely house, jewellery and other gifts, the type of lifestyle where she doesnt need to do anything. If you open her cupboard it full of expensive shoes from his trips to Italy and a mink coat from his other travels. In his mind she has been treated like a queen. He would always call her when he was away and made sure she was well. Even the people at his work place knew that he always sends his wife a gift. They thought her to be really lucky. So she continues to say that she appreciates his job and all he has dont to make their life better. In a way, it was the life that they had always wanted. But felt that he loves the job and the projects and the vision of making the company a multinational one. Event the time they spent together, even though they spoke, she didnt really feel like they spoke, like they touched base, felt a bit casual and almost superficial. She felt like she prioritised the job or their lifestyle or way of life, about her. He loved the work above her. He continues so say that this is not true. As a matter of fact, the only reason he is does everything he does is because he loves her. He wants her to have the best. And then silence.... she looks into his eyes then she says... love me. asks him to give that all up her. She asks him to give up all he has built and he is hoping for just to be with her, to love her, to spend his time on her, to just be consumed by her or to just be concentrating on her. He might have thought that she was the devil himself for asking suck a think. He could have just slapped her for having the courage to say such a thing or he could have taken a little time to listen and consider the things she said

This is an interesting scenario and it plays out all the time. Its not the first time when I hear this but most times they never has the conversation they just continue to live, what seem to be, separate lives.

There is a lot to say about this.

1. Biblibally, a husband is to love his wife to the point that he would give up his "life" for her. That thing that he perceives to be his everything, the thing that he lives for, that thing that gives him energy. BUT also, she is to help him in that thing that he is living for. She as a help mate is to be involved in the affairs. In this instance they are more likely to be on the same page. To know eaachother more each day. To dwell in eachothers presence in each others hearts. Therefore no misunderstandings

2.I'm going to look at God. He loved Abraham and Abraham loved Him. Abraham was a good man. He was going about the business of God. Carrying out Gods vision and will amoungst the people that he rules (his company). Abraham thought them how to live i.e. their lifestyle. And Abraham knew that "his company" would grow to such a large extent that the world would be blessed through his descendance (his company), that his company would be so big and numerous as the amount of stars in the sky. Like WOW! And then one day God looks Abraham in the eye and says, love Me. Give up everything for me. Sacrifice it for me. Everything that you have hoped for, dreamed of, that thing that gives you energy... I want you to sacrifice it. I want you to put a knife through it. Abraham might have thought that it was the devil perhaps. It doesnt mention whether he struggled with this request or not but the next day He was ready to give his life to God. This was something that he was hoping for for about 13 plus years before any of his children were born (historians say that Isaac was about 13 at the time) Gen22:1-24. Abraham didnt know what would happen. He just knew that he was giving up his life

3. Isaiah 58:1-24 There are times, like in the story of the husband and wife. Where we believe without doubt that we are loving our wife. Or should I say, we believe so much that we are loving God. From the outside, people would really know that this person loves God. Like the husband. At work they would say his wife was lucky because he was perceived to really love her. Sometimes we honestly believe that we are humble or love God or doing right by him. BUT untill we get to the point of giving up our way or our life what we believe beyond reasonable doubt. Laying down your "life" that thing that gives you energy or the right to xyz, that security. Give it all up to love Him. Loving Him about that which He has set out for us, which He has promised, that which we are destined for. Loving Him above that like Abraham.

4. Psalm91:1 We need to dwell in His presence not just agree on something and be off going about doing it and not coming back to Him. We need to dwell in His presence along side doing stuff, doing it with an open hand. Ready to give it to Him if He so pleases. And if we dwell in His presence we do things not in our own strength and by force but it is He that dwells in us who can now flow. Being close to His heart. Touching base, having that conversation thats not just superficial or about matters not of the heart, just stuff that you can talk to anybody about

I want to keep this close to my heart cause I know there will be a time when I might need to draw on it. Dwell in the presence of the Lover of my soul, with open hands

To an old wise man.

love money

i look at my friends and where i come from.the people families that surrounded me and i realise that money was never a big thing. people didnt really seek money just to say that they have money or to show off. Maybe the guys but that was not part of my up bringing and i think that it is the same in England. The friends I have here dont look for money to show off or anything. In fact they really dont like show offs. showing off is shunned. the people that I've become friends with mostly just talk or work towards having fun with friends. Going for a coffee, night out, travel the world with friends whilst meeting strange people etc. it's about relationship. or even on the radio, the dj prefer musicians that are down to earth i.e. not a show off. "He's such a great guy... he's so down to earth"

Prefer someone who's considerate than someone who's a diva or show off

Bible bashing

My nature is one that is very observant. I watch, I listen, I draw out and then I see. I understand what is in front of me before I react.

These are the conversations that i enjoy the most. the ones where this process has past through both sides of the boat/parties.

I dont like conversations were I've spoken the most or vice-versa. It almost annoys me. I cant talk about an agender and chatter away or impose my ideas without really connecting- by that I mean really connecting, not that it's all in my head and I'm projecting my expectations or feelings on them. I like it when a conversation is like two people going on a journey together. Not the one which is only about one journey and how that journey is the best or the way. This kinda conversation makes me loose concentration and energy. It can feel like they are "Bible bashing" you with your ideas/words. I get tired and try to change the subject or wrap it up. Or simple agree on every point so as to shorten the length of the conversation. I say this because most times in this situation, it's someone who wants to tell you something, they dont really want to have a conversation. And having a conversation would actually look offensive to the other party or something. Sometimes people want to tell you that they're way is right and why this is so. They just want to tell you. Not really have a conversation. Conversation requires 50:50 effort to speak, listen, question, draw out and understand. I guess its more about the person then the topic/subject. It's more about the relationship then the idea.

Its ok to just want to tell or push your way forward, we all do it. But lets label it as such