Thursday, October 27, 2005

The stragest thing



the strangest thing happened to me the other day. I was at a point in my life where the reality of having to make a decision that’s going to change all parts of my life was staring me in the face. I felt kinda weak and vulnerable, kinda empty, lost and confused because a decision hadn’t been made. I had had lunch with a friend and slowly our conversation revealed the impact of my decision. I did feel challenged. the strange thing - which I was talking about in the earlier- is that straight after having lunch with her, after I left her, it felt like my knees wanted to hit the ground. You know when your stomach is grumbling because its empty/hungry and you know you'd better eat something...well it felt like my knees -(and shins)were anxious to touch the ground.it was like my legs just wanted to be in the safe place of Gods presence. On my knees in Gods presence. it was like I had butterflies not in my tummy but my knees/shins. I bumped into another friend of mine but as they were speaking all I could think about is my knees. even when I was in the presence of people, all I could think about was my knees. I remember singing on stage for the first time - weak in the knees. I couldn’t move cause if I did, I knees that my knees would give in and I’d fall or something. I felt weak in my knees even on this day. God was calling me to be with Him. This is how I felt the whole day. I went to the cinema that day and after the movie I just went to the ladies. this was when I gave in to my knees and kneeled. I remember realising what had just happened ad stood up because I was kneeling in the open where people wash their hands and not in the toilet space - no one walked in though so ;> I didn’t take advantage of that feeling and just give in to my knees. I kept myself busy. thought about it buy I didn’t really express how I was feeling

Friday, October 14, 2005

Be my God



Father I need You to be MY God.to be my shield my fortress, my shelter, deliverer. I need You Lord right know. I feel weak and I need you to let me know that You are there. That You are loving me, that all power belongs to You. That You truly have my life in Your hands and that You're moulding me. Father, love me know and sing sweet songs to my heart. I need You Lord to be my God. I trust You Lord, with all I am. I want all that You have for me.ALL.no holding back. Father I don’t want to settle for just.....?I want Your abundant life. Have Your way, Your good and perfect way. Your way that makes me know that You are here, that all is well. And start asking myself...why? why do I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come, why should my heart feel lonley?When Jesus is my portion,a constant friend is He.His eye is on the sparrow and I know HE watches me.I feel weak and I feel like I cant be weak.Father may Your peace come over me like a rushing wind that takes all the debris away,like the breeze that comforts you on a hot summers day,like the air the is all around me,hovering around me.All I want is You Lord!!Be my God,be my all in all.Father be the lifter of my head,let me see through Your eyes,let me see the beauty You are yet to unfold,let me see Your heart.You are my comforter and I rest in You.My God,my healer,my all.Jesus sing over me.In the arms of Love is where I want to be.Can I climb up in Your lap,I dont dont want to leave.I got to keep singing