More and more this thought lingers in my mind.

i'll use the context of a physically abusive relationship. when a man beats the woman. and slowly with every punch, she get nearer to her death.

and then there's the scenario where there is no physical abuse but the man is pretty much throwing some verbal punches. the "you're useless" type, pushed or shoved around and eventually, the woman looks like she's lots all her life. in her eyes and her actions. she basically ceases to exist and is a walking shadow.

which one is worse?in the world that we live in, the physical takes preeminence and as a result, the man who physically abused the woman would be looked down upon by society to the point of possible imprisonment.
the other case, no one really takes any notice and the woman dies in silence.in fact she is probably mocked or something... what do we say to or about people who look un-alive?

sometimes i think the second scenario is worse because the scars aren't seen. and the woman might even wish to be physically beaten to justify the hurt she feels.

why do some people cut themselves and feel better after cutting themselves?

I think Christ sees the two scenarios just as bad, equal in their evil. He sees human intentions as actions that have already occurred.

Only the One called LOVE can heal that.

babies....

the negative generalisations

-crying babies, that cry often

-needy babies

-runny noses

-not being able to have a moment to think or even have an adult conversation

-being tired

-3 hours of sleep at a time

-being the only person who knows what to do

-swollen or painful boobs

-no holidays for the next 2 years

the positive generalisations

-it's your baby

-they are cute

-make you laugh/smile/entertaining

-unconditional love

conclusion... it's a mystery

I miss my mommy

k

Life in CHRIST..a BOOMERANG effect!

Life in CHRIST..a BOOMERANG effect!

by Refilwe Sathekge on Friday, July 17, 2009 at 5:00pm

To HIM...
Loss means Gain
The poor are rich
Life is Death
And Death..? Life eternal

It is when I choose to die that I actually live
When I acknowledge my weakness that He calls me strong
At times I feel like a slave..then He calls me THE leader
And only when I humble myself?
Does He actually lift me up

Life in Christ ..a boomerang effect cos..
To HIm..
Giving is Receiving
Resisting is the highest form of fighting
The First are the Last..
The Last? will be first in His Kingdom...

He says..
It is when I let go that I gain mo
When I try to be streetwise
He calls it foolishness..
The very 'foolishness of the gospel' as some call it
Happens to be THE power of His Might..
cos Life In Christ..a BOOMERANG effect..

The very Stone that the builders thought was worth rejecting
Turned out to be THE Chief Cornerstone
The very One who was called a Lamb
Is also..the LION of Judah
He whom men thought was a criminal
Afterall turned out to be the Saint of saints
God Himself


It is when men think they can see that He calls them blind
And those who thought they know HIm He informed "I never knew you"
To them that declared their self righteousness
He challenged..Cast the first stone!
To the rest? Who thought they were worthless
He cried out..Salvation has come to this house!
Life in CHRIST..A BOOMERANG effect

He..
Calls timid Gideon "Mighty Man Of Valour"
Childless Abram "Father Of Many"
Unstable Peter..He named the ROCK

Jeremiah..who declared "I cannot speak"
He calls him Prophet! My mouthpiece..
"Wretched Man that I am" Saul?
He Invited to be the catalyst of the Gospel of Grace
Refilwe Given Sathekge...?
... UNLIMITED.

It was death on the cross
that brought life to all
It is when a seed goes underground
That it becomes most fruitful
So what is He saying to YOU today
that seems outa tune, unpopular and impossible?
I say follow Him, yield to Him, and surrender to His Will
Because...

LIFE IN CHRIST..A BOOMERANG EFFECT!

often time in Christendom, we talk about our reward in heaven and Jesus does encourage this but for some reason, I dont really care much whether I will live in a mansion or be at the gate or be recognised as some great one.
What to do with a crown
the only thing I really want is to be in his presence, surrounded by his glory, dancing in His love. To know Him deeply, and to be known by Him deeply. My great reward would be to be in His presence. To see Him, to feel Him all around me, to be close to Him.
This is what motivates me.

Death and anger pt1

Ruling with an iron fist... relating with an iron fist.

I have herd some crazy things from the sublime to the ridiculous (amongst Christians that is)

For example, There was a couple where the husband was Christian and the wife wasn't and they'd been together for a while. They are both lovely people. Mindful of people, i.e. I wouldn't necessarily call them self involved.
So, a comment was made by a friend about the couple... "The guys should put his foot down, as the head of the house and tell her to convert to Christianity or else. There are loads of woman who've converted to Islam simply because the guy put his foot down."

Another example, when Christians force, with an iron fist, other Christians to pray

From the sublime to the ridiculous. From something beautiful like a relationship with the lover of your soul to simply placing the christian title on ones self. From a sacred conversation to a religious requirement, the iron fist turns what is sacred and beautiful to something empty or meaningless like a resounding gong.

Death and anger

New King James v
²¹ “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder,^a]">[a] and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ ²² But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause^b]">[b] shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. ²³ Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

New Living Translation
²¹ “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’^a]">[a] ²² But I say, if you are even angry with someone,^b]">[b] you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot,^c]">[c] you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone,^d]">[d] you are in danger of the fires of hell.^e]">[e]

²³ “So if you are presenting a sacrifice^f]">[f] at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, ²⁴ leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

The Message
^21-22"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. ^23-24"This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God

the masses

we take cultural meanings and make them our own and then we make them the standard.
e.g. when there's a full moon, it is an evil night or a bad thing etc. This idea was taken from back in the days, perhaps with witches and werewolves etc. Basically, someone made a claim on the full moon and from that day, it's been accepted as an evil thing. E.g. in some superstitious cultures, or in spirituality. and everyone is ok with that. No one is say... hold on a minute... everything that's been created from the beginning of time is good.
I guess it's a steep slope to climb, so people would rather not climb that hill. Instead they give it up to those who claim the moon to be evil or whatever.

Another example is colour. Take purple for example, in the western like cultures, it represents royalty and in other cultures like Thailand, purple is the colour of mourning. People own these meanings because it has been passed down to them through culture, experience and everything that is around them. But, in truth purple doesnt really mean royalty or mourning. We just decide. In other words, it can mean anything but we define it. By nature it is good, by that I mean, not bad.

Not many decide what things means to them. Many simply grow up and the meanings are passed down to them through family, culture, experience, tv/media etc. They always follow the masses. Most things follow a cycle. From discovering it to defining it. From ideas or wisdom of man, to colours, from nature to music etc etc.

This is not to say that the masses are wrong simply that the masses are taken as the rule

the line up

The reality of gang violence against young girls is just shocking. The term line up is not used so that one can point out who the perpetrator is but rather, is used sometimes as initiation where a young woman from 12yrs old is bound to have sex with all the members in the gang. The boys line up to have their way with the girl. They essentially make her commit to be gang raped.

Have a listen

The Lineup to assault

I had a dream on the morning of the 9th July '10. The last day of fast. It was a strange dream and I didnt know what to do with it yet so I waited. Prayed that morning and everything was just hitting on the dream. I cant remember much of it now. I actually forgot about it until last night. made a note in my mind to write it down.

Anyway, in the dream, there was this guy and he liked things to be a certain way. And he had a woman with him, I think they were together. Anyway, the dream was kinda in black and white. The couple were in black and their environment was white, like an empty space. Imagine how they draw speech bubbles. They were basically in a speech bubble.
Anyway, this guy liked things a certain way, a lil controlling and this woman was like a doormat and she was aware that she was and this was a conscious choice that she had made. To become his doormat. Anyway, she seemed ok about this. She was pretty much squashed but she wasn't exactly sad. Every now and then, she'd get something from outside the speech bubble. You know the little triangle at the beginning of the speech bubble, that's where she went to. It was like her secret something and having that thing was the thing that made her smile. It made her OK

Think thats when it stopped

Let there be light

The first night back, I was really tired so went to bed early - probably midnight. Anyway, started sinking into sleep and then realised that there were two attacking presence in the room. one in one corner and another in the opposite corner. And I couldn't speak. I was willing myself and commanding then to go flee and surrounding the room with fire but my mouth couldn't open. So I willed myself to get up cause I also couldnt move. So I got up and made declarations, blotting out by the blood etc. Then went back to bed. 10mins later the same thing happened. And the same process happened. So this time when I woke, I spoke to the corners being aware that they see and hear me, and again the blood, declarations of who I am boundaries etc. And then I remembered "let there be light... and the darkness could not comprehend it, used the bedroom light as an example. By this time it was 2am in the morning and I was just wanting to rest. So made up that I wasnt going to get up again or be disturbed.
Finally, Peace...
I'm a light sleeper though so I woke up again, this time it was a person, someone walking on the stairs dont know if they were going to the toilet.
Finally, again, peace ... Next thing I remember s waking uo the next morning

Simplicity

⁵"And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

⁶"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

^7-13"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

^14-15"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.

^16-18"When you practice some appetite-denying discipline to better concentrate on God, don't make a production out of it. It might turn you into a small-time celebrity but it won't make you a saint. If you 'go into training' inwardly, act normal outwardly. Shampoo and comb your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face. God doesn't require attention-getting devices. He won't overlook what you are doing; he'll reward you well.

I feel this is the most important type of prayer but there are others e.g. petitioning

the iron rod

I heard of a story where two people were fasting together. Perhaps they went camping for the weekend to be away from the distractions of life. Lets imagine they were fasting for a long time. Lets call them John, who is the father and Tom. Now, it was coming to the end of the fast and they just had 2 hours left to fast and then they'd pray and after all that, they'd have something to eat.
So, 10mins into the prayer Tom is starting to see stars and feel light headed. He then sits down to pray to prevent himself from fainting. His father realises what happens, his response is to tell Tom that this is an important time and he should stand and keep going. That he also feels tired but they just have to go all out. Tom communicated that he'll faint if they continue but his father takes no for an answer and then stands next to Tom to keep him standing.
A few minutes later, Tom passes out...
Luckily, his father was standing next to him so no damage none. i.e. he didnt hit his head on the ground etc.
So Tom eventually wakes, and feels like there's no air and feels hot etc. His father continues praying and Tom is making sense of what just happens and probably waits for his dad to finish praying so that he can get a drink.
Praying done... Tom starts to stand but his knees feel like jelly and his body is a little shaky, he decides to crawl to the tap to drink. His father sees him doing this then decides to carry him to the tap. Tom drinks, finds some bread and then just wants to sleep/rest his body.

The next day his dad asks him how he feels and he says he feels fine. His dad then asks him if he was upset that they didnt get to finish the fasting and praying well. Tom is shocked. And makes the conclusion, form his fathers comment, that his father didnt really care about him fainting, he wasnt up set about him fainting, instead, he was upset that they didnt finish in the manner in which he calls "well". and perhaps resented Tom for fainting because he spoiled his dads plans.


In cases like this it makes me wonder why we deal with people like this. With a rod of iron and not with love. I am always amazed by the example given, that it is always better to be at peace or reconcilled with a brother first then to approach God. To leave your ideas of what is perhaps "holy" and persue love Matt5:22

Testing again

This is just a test

negative effect

someone said something awhile ago. "There's nothing like a negative comment". By that she meant that a negative comment is there to build you up, give you a different view, question yourself. a comment is negative or positive depending on the receiver of the comment.

If you only hear comments as negative then... that's a more a reflection of you

i think it's ok to have negative comments, they dont change who you are or the relationship that you have. the delivery of a comment is makes a difference though.

its good to argue... wrestle it out

the people your drawn to the most are those who help you wrestle out

some people you avoid arguing with because you know that you might loose them or that the dynamics may change. This reveals that the relationship isn't very secure... there's some insecurities there.
and others you dont think twice about arguing with because whatever happens, you know that your relationship will still be there. it might just make you closer

if you look at any random normal person, the person they argue with the most is the person they are closest to. in a family, the brother or sister that fight the most, or tease eachother the most will end up being the closest - usually. and no matter what happens, if the sister steals the others sisters man like in the movie "In her shoes" (which I'm not promoting), they still come back to eachother. The age gap may make a difference though.

in the end, it's good to argue knowing that you'll still be there with a smile and freedom to be yourself...
no restrictions or conditionst ... "you must...from now on"

express yourself

yesterday i went to play netball and i loved it. i kinda felt fully alive. i give all of myself when i play netball and as a result, i love it.

that's life... wherever you feel restricted to give all of yourself then thats when you dont feel fully alive. you can feel caged or like there's a cap or a glass ceiling that prevents you from "getting there". humans have to be given the freedom to be fully themselves and thats when they give their best and are their best. to be fully alive is to be fully free.whatever or whomever makes you fell free... this is what you love, this is what or whom you gravitate to

last week i signed up to boycott the big petrol companies until they lower prices. i.e. stay away from BP, only use the cheaper filling stations until everyone is cheaper or more competitive. i started spreading the word and felt so "strong" about it.

i'm thinking about it now and i think it's a bit rich to be thinking this way!! we always expect to get cheaper products and dont think about the bigger picture. petrol isnt really a source that will last forever. and with some depletion is areas, of course petrol is going to sell at a higher price. demand is becoming higher and supply is not growing at the same rate. and we just sit there, expecting everything to be constant, to be given to us on a silver platter because we pay tax, and when things get crazy, we blame the government and the capitalist and are enraged. which is all well and good but why not use less petrol. that is an option you know. as crazy and strange as it may sound. we can walk more, take public transport, take up cycling, buy locally and if we really feel outraged by the fuel prices then maybe get a car that doesnt run on petrol. furthermore

⁶ Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy^a]">[a] as enduring as the grave.^b]">[b]
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.
⁷ Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love
with all his wealth,
his offer would be utterly scorned.

-Songs of Songs 8:6-7

The Jewish church came up from the wilderness, supported by Divine power and favour. The Christian church was raised from a low, desolate condition, by the grace of Christ relied on. Believers, by the power of grace, are brought up from the wilderness. A sinful state is a wilderness in which there is no true comfort; it is a wandering, wanting state: There is no coming out of this wilderness, but leaning on Christ as our Beloved, by faith; not leaning to our own understanding, nor trusting in any righteousness of our own; but in the strength of him, who is the Lord our Righteousness. The words of the church to Christ which follow, entreat an abiding place in his love, and protection by his power. Set me as a seal upon thine heart; let me always have a place in thine heart; let me have an impression of love upon thine heart. Of this the soul would be assured, and without a sense thereof no rest is to be found. Those who truly love Christ, are jealous of every thing that would draw them from him; especially of themselves, lest they should do any thing to provoke him to withdraw from them. If we love Christ, the fear of coming short of his love, or the temptations to forsake him, will be most painful to us. No waters can quench Christ's love to us, nor any floods drown it. Let nothing abate our love to him. Nor will life, and all its comforts, entice a believer from loving Christ. Love of Christ, will enable us to repel and triumph over temptations from the smiles of the world, as well as from its frowns.

There are different types of leaders.
Jesus is an interesting fella'. He know what was "the way" -the vision, He knew the time scale, and He had people who didnt know the vision or the time scale. The people were just drawn to Him, His personality and perhaps, they liked how they felt when they were around Him. There was something about His personality that drew men unto Him. They just wanted to be around Him.
And then He inspires them to do what they dont understand, perhaps dont want to do. E.g. Jesus at the well talking to the Samaritan woman, the disciples were not pleased so Jesus had to talk to her when they werent around. Jesus basically inspires the people around Him to do what they dont want to do. How does He do that?? I believe because of His leadership style. It was a relational one and He made them feel a certain way about themselves which caused them to be inspired to greatness. He served them, He showed them that He regarded them, told them secrets that He wouldnt tell everyone. In summary, His love towards them inspired them to be great leaders, even after Jesus died and ascended. Because of the relationship they had with Jesus, the were inspired to work out the vision to such an extent they they were ready to die for it and indeed, did die because of it. Is it love, affirmation, belief in them, taking the time to demonstrate the He didnt matter that much by, firtsly kneeling before them and secondly, washing their feet. He believed in them more then they believed in themselves. My sister said the same thing about her driving instructor and know she has the confidence or is secure in herself in this regard.

I guess the way of the word and probably all humans lead in a forceful, I tell you what to do, it's about the destination not the journey, the means to an end, either your in or you out kinda way. it's not very relational. I guess if someone pays you then you essentially agree to just doing what they tell you. This is not leadership, it's just doing a job. A leader inspires and that takes a relationship of care.. To be a leader is to engage the hearts and minds of people.

I had a dream.

Like dreams it was rather weird. Hard to explain.

It’s 14:00 in the afternoon know and I’ve probably lost a lot of the details. Anyway,

the starting point that I can remember, was that my sister or a friend or someone female that was close to me, was in trouble or jail – can’t remember. Then I went t to see and help etc. Eventually it was all sorted and the person was released. The environment then turned into one huge room. The kind that has no boundaries like infinity. It was like a house. The house where I lived. And there were loads of people who came in from random places, to come and eat. The house or room was light and free? There wasn’t a heavy atmosphere regardless of where people came from. And everyone was the same... just human beings. And we all shared a meal and I was in the business of cooking. Although there wasn’t a point where I cooked. The food was just ready. It was like a big feast, or a big meal together and this was a regular thing... something we did all the time.

I woke up and it felt so significant to me and I thought about it and told myself to write it and then, like dreams, I forgot until the mention of people at large came up.

the elders and the old

why do some cultures have elders and others have old people?

people earn the right to relay knowledge through experience and love. life experience has wisdom, and guidance for the younger generation.

not all old people are Elders and not all Elders are old people

I do wish that we had more interaction between the generations. Sitting around the fire or something, passing on the wisdom that this world cant teach you. This is a sacred place

Father you are awesome.
mighty to save.
The God of love.
my redeemer.
lover of my soul.
my identity,
my truth.
my beauty,
my peace.
my safety.
my strong tower.
my refuge and my strength.
my hiding place.
the lifter of my head,
my glory.
my reason.
my crown.
my reward.
you are my freedom,
my reason
my need.
my answer, the answer to every question.

You satisfy me with Your word,
Your presence,
Your blood,
Your heart,
Your mind and Your love.
You satisfy me with who You are,
how You work,
how You see things,
how You are greater than the box that we put You in,
and i love that.
i love that You are all mighty,
all knowing,
all encompassing,
all present.
that You are all.

keep me, Lord keep me. close to Your heart beat, close to Your heart.hold me.hold my hand. surprise me, fill me with your joy, laughter, peace. i believe in you lord

I remember watching a film. there was a part of the film where this couple were having an argument or something. cant remember it with much details but let me try. I'm sure you've herd this type of story before though.

So this woman was expressing to her husband that he doesnt love her anymore or was it that she asked him if he loves her. (cant remember the details). So he feels really offended by her comment because he works so hard so that the wife can be happy. He get her a lovely house, jewellery and other gifts, the type of lifestyle where she doesnt need to do anything. If you open her cupboard it full of expensive shoes from his trips to Italy and a mink coat from his other travels. In his mind she has been treated like a queen. He would always call her when he was away and made sure she was well. Even the people at his work place knew that he always sends his wife a gift. They thought her to be really lucky. So she continues to say that she appreciates his job and all he has dont to make their life better. In a way, it was the life that they had always wanted. But felt that he loves the job and the projects and the vision of making the company a multinational one. Event the time they spent together, even though they spoke, she didnt really feel like they spoke, like they touched base, felt a bit casual and almost superficial. She felt like she prioritised the job or their lifestyle or way of life, about her. He loved the work above her. He continues so say that this is not true. As a matter of fact, the only reason he is does everything he does is because he loves her. He wants her to have the best. And then silence.... she looks into his eyes then she says... love me. asks him to give that all up her. She asks him to give up all he has built and he is hoping for just to be with her, to love her, to spend his time on her, to just be consumed by her or to just be concentrating on her. He might have thought that she was the devil himself for asking suck a think. He could have just slapped her for having the courage to say such a thing or he could have taken a little time to listen and consider the things she said

This is an interesting scenario and it plays out all the time. Its not the first time when I hear this but most times they never has the conversation they just continue to live, what seem to be, separate lives.

There is a lot to say about this.

1. Biblibally, a husband is to love his wife to the point that he would give up his "life" for her. That thing that he perceives to be his everything, the thing that he lives for, that thing that gives him energy. BUT also, she is to help him in that thing that he is living for. She as a help mate is to be involved in the affairs. In this instance they are more likely to be on the same page. To know eaachother more each day. To dwell in eachothers presence in each others hearts. Therefore no misunderstandings

2.I'm going to look at God. He loved Abraham and Abraham loved Him. Abraham was a good man. He was going about the business of God. Carrying out Gods vision and will amoungst the people that he rules (his company). Abraham thought them how to live i.e. their lifestyle. And Abraham knew that "his company" would grow to such a large extent that the world would be blessed through his descendance (his company), that his company would be so big and numerous as the amount of stars in the sky. Like WOW! And then one day God looks Abraham in the eye and says, love Me. Give up everything for me. Sacrifice it for me. Everything that you have hoped for, dreamed of, that thing that gives you energy... I want you to sacrifice it. I want you to put a knife through it. Abraham might have thought that it was the devil perhaps. It doesnt mention whether he struggled with this request or not but the next day He was ready to give his life to God. This was something that he was hoping for for about 13 plus years before any of his children were born (historians say that Isaac was about 13 at the time) Gen22:1-24. Abraham didnt know what would happen. He just knew that he was giving up his life

3. Isaiah 58:1-24 There are times, like in the story of the husband and wife. Where we believe without doubt that we are loving our wife. Or should I say, we believe so much that we are loving God. From the outside, people would really know that this person loves God. Like the husband. At work they would say his wife was lucky because he was perceived to really love her. Sometimes we honestly believe that we are humble or love God or doing right by him. BUT untill we get to the point of giving up our way or our life what we believe beyond reasonable doubt. Laying down your "life" that thing that gives you energy or the right to xyz, that security. Give it all up to love Him. Loving Him about that which He has set out for us, which He has promised, that which we are destined for. Loving Him above that like Abraham.

4. Psalm91:1 We need to dwell in His presence not just agree on something and be off going about doing it and not coming back to Him. We need to dwell in His presence along side doing stuff, doing it with an open hand. Ready to give it to Him if He so pleases. And if we dwell in His presence we do things not in our own strength and by force but it is He that dwells in us who can now flow. Being close to His heart. Touching base, having that conversation thats not just superficial or about matters not of the heart, just stuff that you can talk to anybody about

I want to keep this close to my heart cause I know there will be a time when I might need to draw on it. Dwell in the presence of the Lover of my soul, with open hands

To an old wise man.

love money

i look at my friends and where i come from.the people families that surrounded me and i realise that money was never a big thing. people didnt really seek money just to say that they have money or to show off. Maybe the guys but that was not part of my up bringing and i think that it is the same in England. The friends I have here dont look for money to show off or anything. In fact they really dont like show offs. showing off is shunned. the people that I've become friends with mostly just talk or work towards having fun with friends. Going for a coffee, night out, travel the world with friends whilst meeting strange people etc. it's about relationship. or even on the radio, the dj prefer musicians that are down to earth i.e. not a show off. "He's such a great guy... he's so down to earth"

Prefer someone who's considerate than someone who's a diva or show off

Bible bashing

My nature is one that is very observant. I watch, I listen, I draw out and then I see. I understand what is in front of me before I react.

These are the conversations that i enjoy the most. the ones where this process has past through both sides of the boat/parties.

I dont like conversations were I've spoken the most or vice-versa. It almost annoys me. I cant talk about an agender and chatter away or impose my ideas without really connecting- by that I mean really connecting, not that it's all in my head and I'm projecting my expectations or feelings on them. I like it when a conversation is like two people going on a journey together. Not the one which is only about one journey and how that journey is the best or the way. This kinda conversation makes me loose concentration and energy. It can feel like they are "Bible bashing" you with your ideas/words. I get tired and try to change the subject or wrap it up. Or simple agree on every point so as to shorten the length of the conversation. I say this because most times in this situation, it's someone who wants to tell you something, they dont really want to have a conversation. And having a conversation would actually look offensive to the other party or something. Sometimes people want to tell you that they're way is right and why this is so. They just want to tell you. Not really have a conversation. Conversation requires 50:50 effort to speak, listen, question, draw out and understand. I guess its more about the person then the topic/subject. It's more about the relationship then the idea.

Its ok to just want to tell or push your way forward, we all do it. But lets label it as such

Expectation vs Achievement = Happy

I watched a film called The Morgans or something. and in the end she got tired and dissappointed because he couldnt be everything she hoped for and vise versa i think. So she said they get bask together and she'll stop expecting him to be her everything and i think he said the same thing. A third party interupted with zeal and said "that's waht marriage is about. Expecting eachother to be their everything even if it may not happen"

I thought that was really interesting. Someone formed a formula for happiness and sad that happiness (H)= Acheivement (A) ÷ Expectation (E)

Identity Part3

A man named Jesus compared marriage with Him relationship with us, people, the church. In other words if I an to understand a bit of marriage, I am to look at Him and His relationship with the church. He works in us by His love and we become the spotless bride that He presents to Himself. In a nutshell, Gods role (apart from saving the earth), His role is to present us to Himself as the bride that He has always dreams and imagined. And He does this, ultimately through His love.

Know on with it...

To start with... we love Him because He first loved us. His love found me. His love rescued me. His love was so great that I found myself in it. I found my identity in His love. I found my security in Him. He called me and told me how He saw me... beautiful, a diamond worth searching for, so precious to Him that He would die for me. And it wasnt just talk, He actually died for me. Before I knew Him or could be of any use of importance to Him.

This love is my security. It is the rock that I stand on. It never is shaken but it does deepens. A mountain of love that surrounds me. His love is everything to me. And from it, from this identity, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Secondly, because I have my identity in Him, I now feel like I can fly. Like I have no limitations, like I'm so much better than yesterday,I have this new found energy. I'm happier much lighter and want to share this with everyone. I want to run and shout it to the mountains and the hills. It's like I've become more like myself. Free to be who I was made to be. And as a result, I do all things with energy, with this assurance, with this new freedom. His love has made me free to be more of who I am. Releasing me to fly. And as I fly, I sing His praises

Thirdly, I no longer get offended or hurt but instead I see the pain or I can see between the lines.It's no longer about me when I talk or in conversations. It's about love. How can I love with my words, actions, touch, time etc. So now I am more able to help the vision of saving, healing, building the world, so to speak.

It's really funny but it seems that obedience becomes a natural thing. It's like your heart and Gods heart become one and therefore, what He sees as close to His heart, becomes what you see close to your heart. You do things almost automatically because you have become one. You do His will because 1.you love Him and 2.You've become one. There is an intimacy. Love requires intamacy and the deep knowings make you become one. Love is one.

Forthly, through experience of this new walk, this new knowledge, this experience... you must praise Him. It makes too much sense to praise and worship Him. You realise to praise Him for the sun, moon and start. For my health, personality, relationships (strangers and friends, family, God etc). You kinda become one that has a grateful heart. Everything seems to tell you a story of God, His love, mercy, favour, power, glory, majesty, holiness, righteousness etc

Fithly, He becomes your Lord. He gives you free will or choice and You give it back to Him. You give Him your choices without diminishing, without becoming less of yourself and it is freeing. Obedience is a choice. You truly give Him your life.

Likewise, perhaps this is what the process of marriage is? In order to become one, she must find her strength, identity, confidence in him, in the love he provides for her. And her openness to his love should set her free or make her more of who she is, with refound energy to be submissive - not like a doormat but like a rushing wind that makes a paper plane fly further than it normally would. And all these other things mentioned earlier, gradually are added.

The average woman however, one who has security in who she is (which is provided by her up bringing) can be a "wife". We all have some sense of security. Your level of security determines the extent to which the process of becoming "one" flowers. It could take longer or change its colour or wilt or simply no movement. A flower that isnt watered will not grow, a flower that doesnt grow, is essentially dead.

Having your security in God however, is the perfect solution. If you allow Him, you are guarenteed a garden of eden.

It's interesting that 1Peter3:56 reads ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, ⁶like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master, lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Does this then mean that your husband fulfills the role of God? He becomes your god in ever sense of the word. Not giving way to fear? (aka don't be scared to treat him as such)God, the living water that gives life because He loves. And we serve Him because of this?

Forever Young

Why do we want to live forever? I guess, on some level, we want to be like gods and live forever.
Every generation faces the challenge of a life threatening disease e.g. the black death, HIV and AIDS, cancer, diabetes etc. When we find a cure for one disease, another one crops up. More and more, we are dependant on the cures. We'd rather spend billions, as a country, on reasearching drugs etc, than on prevention. If you look at most illnesses, they can be prevented by "good healthy living". By that I mean, taking care of our hygiene, diet, excersize, relationships - physically, emotionally and spiritually. If the people who lived 10 generations before us lived "good healthy living" and every generation since followed suit, as well as the next 10 generations to follow lived a "good healthy life"(This includes corporations and governments) . I think this would dramatically reduce the number of diseases/illnesses.
Instead we're being bankrupt (financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally etc), spending on drugs and then being rescued from death by drugs. Bankrupt to be rescued. esp in the U.S.

Idenity Part2

One cannot love if they do not posses love. You can learn to love and as such have love through understanding and effort. Or you can love others by being loved. love is like a candle that gives its light to other candles. it doesnt loose anything by lighting up another candle but it cannot burn bright without being lit.
I have met some people that just ooze love and most times, you just want to be around them. They draw you in. They are like fully themselves. Fully alive, fully present, understanding and not imposing. Always believes in better. She can freely be like this because she is freely loved and freely accepts Gods love, which is love in it's purest form.
Love enables you to do things that you normally wouldnt do. things that you find hard to do, love makes it easier. For example, if you saw a homeless man with a weak bladder who asked you for help to change and wash him. This may be hard to do and you wouldnt do it whole heatedly. But if your baby just messed themselves by doing a mixture - no.1 &2. As a parent, you probably tease them, kiss them on the cheek, then give them a wash, with no complains and whole heatedly. That's what love does.
Having love can give you the energy to do anything and to do it whole heatedly

A lil' greedy

I was at one of these cultural events and it really shocks me sometimes that food changes people. They'd become rude and only after their own interest.

Four hours after lunch, a smell of food arises from the kitchen. all of a sudden plates of food appear but they only seem to go to the special people. by that i mean the ones that have fought for the food. went to the kitchen and said a word or two which as a result put fear in the waiters mind and therefore obliged to do as commanded. Or even when your stuffed, you've eaten a whole plate of food, more than you can handle or more then you'd normally eat and then you see your favourite food or dessert or what ever... and then feel that you MUST eat it. Your so full but you force yourself to eat the next thing. I've also herd of stories, African stories where people eat from the same plate. It can turn out to be a competition and the weakest one will eat the least. And as a result may not get enough nutrition. So some mothers realise the weight loss, and give that person their own plate otherwise they wont really eat. Its horrible what food can sometimes turn people into. It's like you just care about yourself and how much you can eat. Always eyeing someone elses plate or eyeing how much food you've eaten to make sure that you eat A LOT. Very calculative. People become unruly, pushing in cues and arguing about portions. Its almost animalistic. I think sometimes in Africa because food can be scarce, it is almost idolised. When food turns up, your no longer a respectable considerate person but it survival of the fittest. When food turns up, it's like the heavens break into song and sing Hallelujah. So children grow up with this mindset, putting food over people, and sometimes, putting food above their health. Eat like food is going to run out or like its the last day they we'll ever have food so eat as much as you can. So everyday becomes the last day. If someone put a mountain of food in front of you, leaving some behind is not a possibility. "This mountain shall be removed". Why? It nurtures an unhealthy relationship with food. Like food is not really to be enjoyed as such but to consumed.

It all can look a lil' greedy
Col3:5 "... Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater..."

Unwritten rules and expectations of culture

I find culture really interesting!!

I went to visit a couple of friends about a month ago and in their culture, in a husband and wife dont sit together then... there's trouble at home. In this culture it's not normal for the couple not to sit together, to tease each other in public. It's really formal weather with close friends or strangers. You get the feel of "It's just the two of us and there isn't any space for anyone else". It's really isolating. In this scenario, the couple may seems a bit insecure, not wanting to make a mistake maybe.

And then I thought about another couple I know who are from a different culture. They are always, like 70% of the time, teasing each other. One would say, you did this wrong and the other would tease and say something like "I know how much you love it when I do that" or be sarcastic or grovel. They're just always teasing each other and nudging or pinching each other on. It's ever so funny to watch. And they come out of it really graceful. You want to be around them because of it. You feel free to be yourself or free to relax. It's an empowering atmosphere. They are fun to be around. You wouldnt feel like you'd need to be a couple to get along with them.It's quite inclusive. In this scenario, the couple seems more secure in who they are or what they have, and accepting of each other.

To some level, yes it is culture but I guess personality comes into to it aswell. I try imaging the same scenarios living in the opposite cultures...
We should have LIFE and have it in abundance. It is our LIFE that is a LIGHT which draws all man to itself or to the LIGHT

There's a therapy method where the "clients" problems, issues etc are resolved, so to speak by simply talking about their issues and being listened to or understood.

This is how the conversation would go.

Therapist:So how are you feeling today
Client:I feel a bit angry
Therapist: You feel a bit angry?
Client:Yes. I ran into her again and she keeps ignoring me
Therapist: She keeps ignoring you?
Client:Yes. When ever I say anything, she doesnt listen
Therapist: She doesnt listen?
Client:Yes, she looks at me and keeps doing whatever she was doing
Therapist:And how does that make you feel?
Client:I just want her to see me. I told her I was sorry so many times and now she's turned everyone against me
Therapist: She turned everyone against you?

..... and the conversation goes on. At the end the "client" feels much better or more able to deal with everyday issues. And people get paid for this!!! And they're never out of a job. There's like a long list of people on the "client" list.
I'm going to try this method for the next week with people around me and see what happens
Understanding yourself and feeling understood makes you more able.