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Now, let me talk about sex. What I now understand it to be.
As we know, all we are is what we have learned. I.e. we live by a philosophy, a moral, in essence a way. Some people come to the point of deciding which way and others are simply in a certain environment.
What I now understand it to be. It’s a high standard! Ok, so I look around me, TV and media as well as friends and the people around me. And what is the story of sex that I hear? Sex is great! Guys think with their third leg and woman often get enough of it. Woman often feel tired or develop a headache. The men then, chat to chums who might encourage them to think about sleeping with other woman. So the woman continues to be tired and the men don’t ask because they are being satisfied some how. Oh, I forgot the part when the woman has kids and the sex is never the same. So sex is great in the beginning and then becomes something else. Either a chore or a right. This seems to be normal!
Fine, I could say that this is just a generalisation or what ever you want to call it to make it sound like it’s not normal. By normal, I mean that it is normal in the world when I look around.. Not only that, but this story can be found in the pages of history. So for longer than I’ve been around, this was the way of the world.
And in essence this is the standard. Which means that people go into a relationship expecting (speaking as a woman) that the guy will just want me for sex and if he doesn’t get it from me, he will get it from somewhere else. I also expect that I will get tired and develop “head aches” , which again emphasises that I will only be wanted for sex. And he won’t care if I’m tired or have a headache because that is MY problem, his problem is no sex tonight.
What I now understand it to be…
Sex is always better when it’s about the other person. How I can give myself and vice versa. For men, the act of sex is the highlight. For woman, sex is just the cherry which would need a cake in order for it to be the “cherry on the cake” in the “tired” or the “headache” scenario, there was no cake to have the cherry with. I.e. in some way or another, she’s bothered about something else. Her mind is her main sexual organ if you like and for him it’s not so much. (This is in a context of a healthy relationship i.e. two people who have both agreed to be together)
Ok, so the eye opening aspect to me was…
Imagine having a car and the manufacturer told you never to put water. What he is trying to say is that you will destroy the car if you put water. So you want to be following the instructions of the manufacturer cause he knows the car, he made it. Knows how it works best.
In a similar vein, in scripture, it says, in essence, that a man and woman should always have sex (i.e. there is a mutual agreement or freedom to do so). The only reason they are exempt form having sex is if they agree to concentrate their efforts or mind, concentrate on speaking to God for the hope they have (fast and pray). And even so, this should not be for a long time as this will invite trouble in the relationship. WOW!!!!
Ok, ok, let me qualify this by saying that before this, we are also advised to love each other with a love that is out of this world. A man is to love his wife to the point of giving his life up for her. He is to live for her. To make her the best she could be. To honour her, to clothe her with righteousness (I don’t know how to translate this world). So what do you do when someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life, loves you like this? To be honest, the natural response to this love is by the woman loving her husband by respecting him, by honouring him and in essence putting his wishes above hers in humility. So each is thinking first about the other
Also to note, sex is an act of agreeing that we are together in mind body and spirit. It’s a spiritual act. So if, like the scriptures say, don’t deprive (1Cor7:5) each other, its kinda saying that you should always be in the state of mind where you can agree that “we are together in mind body and spirit” if that’s not the case then there is some “loving” (the kind that I mentioned earlier) that is missing
So imagine an engineer telling you not to put any electrical appliances in water, especially if it involves you. You won’t take that likely cause as we know, the result of this is some sort of death.
The wow factor, the high standard is that sex is as important as not putting electrical appliances in water. That’s BIG!!! Of cause, the love precedes it all
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